Sometimes meeting friends who bring their friends can be quite challenging. Starting with some kind of smalltalk it doesn‘t take too long until the Q&A games reach the what-do-you-do-for-a-living point. And while there are some jobs and occupations that simply receive the ah-interesting reply before the crowd just moves on to the next topic (or victim), there are some professions that almost instantly make all fun vanish and ruin the rest of the evening. At least for the poor blighter who‘s métier(s) have been unveiled.
Suddenly people want to know more. But sadly the conversations are not about the person that is surrounded almost instantly. All those present start to ask questions they expect this professional to answer. Without even trying to keep a low profile or at least asking for allowance to do so they go ahead. What they want are high-quality answers. For free.
It doesn‘t matter what they do for a living or how they have been raised. After the first question has been shot, more and more overcome their inhibitions and leave aside their good manners. Who cares why this specialist came here! Entertainment or just having a good time with friends? Never! A source of knowledge and experience that comes at no charge, that is what he or she just has become in their eyes and minds.
Witnessing such an act of human misbehaviour and rudeness is quite embarrassing. It makes me feel sick as well as sad for the one who falls victim to the audacity of the spongers. When trapped, there is only so much one can do without appearing to affront for no reason. And it is even harder when I find myself constrained to deal with it if it is me who is in the limelight.
Generally speaking I neither have a problem with sharing my humble knowledge and experience with people who ask me, nor helping them when they are in trouble and simply need some assistance. You may call it a question of honour, you may call it professional behaviour, you may even call it geeky: when someone asks me politely there must be very good reasons for not accepting the challenge. Long story short, under normal conditions people can count on me.
Yet those sudden Q&A sessions can really be a chore, especially when out with some friends to do and talk everything but work. It was some weeks ago when I met one of them and we had a nice afternoon chat, that we - for what reason ever - brought up this subject. With head shaking in disbelief he told me about his latest encounter of that special kind. And he revealed to me how he managed to escape the situation even though he had found himself trapped in some sort of tight spot.
He had been forced into a conversation about tweaking PCs to optimize them for gaming performance. While his interlocutors seemed to spend a lot of time on research on that matter my friend told them that he isn‘t exactly interested in PC gaming at all and pointed out that he might just not be a great help there. But that left the other guys unimpressed and they kept pushing him deeper into this conversation, forcing him to help them figure out some answers.
As they appeared to be very proud of their immense background knowledge they already had and which they were eager to show as if they were trying to compete with my friend, he couldn‘t help and made up a new strategy that he hoped would help him to get out of this conversation. ‘Well, I can see you‘ve already checked more options than I would‘ve ever been able to come up with. But I can think of another thing you could try. Find Config.sys and set buffers to 99.‘
The conversation died almost instantly. Obviously he found something to make his audience ponder about. They had to admit that they had never ever heard about that tweak and because of that it would sure be worth a try. Without even thanking him or apologizing for having him kept away from all the others for almost an hour they turned away. At least my friend was able to spend the rest of the evening the way it was supposed to be spent.
Ever since this evening, when he finds himself forced into some work-related talk he didn‘t ask for he simply waits for the moment to feel right and brings up this phrase. Find Config.sys and set buffers to 99. He is aware of the fact that it isn‘t exactly nice to offer people an advice of this kind but he keeps thinking of it as a means of self-defence. And after spending some moments reflecting on this I tend to agree. In a way.
I may have to mention that his advice will not have gotten his inquisitors very far. But following the suggestions will not have done them any harm either. They may have found themselves just waisting some time, trying to find the file in question and trying to modify it in the suggested way. One may call it their nemesis, at least it was some kind of poetic justice. Well, that is what we made of it. And talking about it made us smile.
How about you?
Filed for future use - that's just gorgeous! I know exactly what you mean, and it is the height of bad manners.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed a new kind of conversation springing up in my life when someone asks what I do and I mention the book coming out soon. It's almost like a bit of code: IF statement="I'm an author, my book is being published later this year" THEN response = "Oh, how exciting, what's it about?" OR "I'm going to write a book, I'm taking a week off soon to do it."
Okay, maybe the week off thing is an exaggeration, but it's clear that these people think that writing a book and getting it published has about the same level of difficulty as, I don't know, putting in a new kitchen; requires a breif time investment and is briefly inconvenient.
When it's the latter, I just smile and nod and listen to them talk about it for five minutes until it's out of their system (or someone else has rescued me from the social hell).
Now I know what to say: "You know, publishers are just dying to get books on how to access Config.sys and set buffers to 99." I'll do it as a homage to you :)
Haha! I loved it! What a brilliant trick!
ReplyDelete