It sounds very weird: although people (living in Germany) already have an average spare time of approximately four hours a day, for the majority it still isn't enough. At least that is one of many results from recent surveys (conducted in Germany).
I may need to clarify: those four hours mentioned above are the average time we (are said to or claim to) have at our free disposal. No duties, no schedules, nothing. Four hours. - Of course we need more, seriously!
The part I like best about the findings is that about 50 % would love to spend this time on doing - nothing. Yes, they would love to do nothing. I can completely understand that!
Sure, there is no way of actually doing nothing. There is always something going on, in our mind as well as around us. Meditation may be a way to do (almost) nothing. But I don't think that this is the point.
Doing nothing is more about lying on the sofa and watching the ceiling without trying to focus on anything specific. Doing nothing is sitting next to a fountain and just watching the water. Doing nothing is sitting on a bench, enjoying the sun and watching the clouds or the birds in the sky.
I am living the dream. At least now and then. I am a lucky man.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Left Behind
Eight weeks ago, a dear friend texted me early in the morning. "Hey. Sorry to make your morning start with this but I wanted to let you know that my mom died last night. I'm on my way to the hospital. Take care! Love - T." Quite a way to start a Friday morning, indeed. We met on the following Sunday and had a long talk.
Since then I learned a lot about the ways or society deals with death and, more important, how the ones who lost someone are treated. And what I learned was quite irritating, it made me very sad.
Over the last decades death has become a taboo subject. Within the modern lives we lead and the related lifestyle we have adopted, there is no room left for death any more. Those who lost someone better get over it quickly as they are expected to function properly, just take back their place within the corporate machine and do their job. Those who are left behind better do their mourning in their spare time, at home, without bothering anyone else.
In addition to the loss, people find themselves in a world of broken promises, abandoned by many, too many so-called friends. Those who are supposed to take care of their inferiors fail completely on doing their job by completely ignoring the individual's need to grieve. All they care about are their own aims they may fail to reach if someone simply isn't able to perform at 100% for a couple of weeks.
This complete lack of respect towards those you lost a beloved one, the lack of understanding of and for their situation, and the lack of care and support for those people makes me very sad and angry. Why do we, as a society fail so miserably in taking care of the mourners? Why has it become so beyond the pale not to be on top of everything each and every day?
It is a well-recognised fact that those who lost someone go through several stages of grief. Whether you think that it takes three stages, as defined by Dr. Roberta Temes, or that five stages are needed, like Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross has put it in her book, or even more, it doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that it takes time to return to a kind of normal life. And as we are individuals the amount of time each one of us needs to make it through those stages of grief will differ. On top of that, sympathy and support is needed.
We are never really prepared to lose someone. Maybe things were different back then when death was omnipresent and people were simply used to face it every day. But when we take a closer look a lot more has changed. The smallest known social communities, our families have changed a lot, too. A family can support us, offer us the possibility to retreat, give us some sort of shelter. Further more, a family can offer the environment to let us be the way we are, the feel the way we feel, offering some sort of safety and security, no matter what.
With families breaking up and falling apart, we find ourselves left to our own devices most of the time. With our work becoming a more important part of our lives, it is becoming a challenge to stay safe and sound, physically as well as mentally. At work, only few are accepted they way they are. For the majority the opposite is true, forcing them to create and maintain a masquerade, which consumes a lot of time and a lot of energy.
During a time when most of our energy is already consumed be the grieving we do, too many people want us to focus on their needs, help them to achieve their goals, support them and be there for them. It sounds terribly wrong - welcome to the real world. A world that is becoming a place for the self-involved and greedy, more and more, day by day.
I just had a break and am back from the phone. I called my friend T. and we have been talking for about an hour. We didn't solve any problems but we talked. And while we were talking I could hear in her voice that she started feeling a bit better, a bit lighter. She simply needed some honest, well-deserved attention and reassurance. I am glad I could help her, just a little bit. She lost her mother eight weeks ago and it is obvious that she will need some more time to deal with it. I will be there for her, no matter how long it takes her to come to terms with her loss, and she knows that.
Maybe you know someone who might need your help, your support. It may be because of the death of a beloved relative, it may be because they came out of a relationship. Anyway, it is a loss. They may need you. Be there for them, be different. Show some respect and accept them the way they are.
They are the ones who find themselves left behind.
Since then I learned a lot about the ways or society deals with death and, more important, how the ones who lost someone are treated. And what I learned was quite irritating, it made me very sad.
Over the last decades death has become a taboo subject. Within the modern lives we lead and the related lifestyle we have adopted, there is no room left for death any more. Those who lost someone better get over it quickly as they are expected to function properly, just take back their place within the corporate machine and do their job. Those who are left behind better do their mourning in their spare time, at home, without bothering anyone else.
In addition to the loss, people find themselves in a world of broken promises, abandoned by many, too many so-called friends. Those who are supposed to take care of their inferiors fail completely on doing their job by completely ignoring the individual's need to grieve. All they care about are their own aims they may fail to reach if someone simply isn't able to perform at 100% for a couple of weeks.
This complete lack of respect towards those you lost a beloved one, the lack of understanding of and for their situation, and the lack of care and support for those people makes me very sad and angry. Why do we, as a society fail so miserably in taking care of the mourners? Why has it become so beyond the pale not to be on top of everything each and every day?
It is a well-recognised fact that those who lost someone go through several stages of grief. Whether you think that it takes three stages, as defined by Dr. Roberta Temes, or that five stages are needed, like Dr. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross has put it in her book, or even more, it doesn't matter. What matters is the fact that it takes time to return to a kind of normal life. And as we are individuals the amount of time each one of us needs to make it through those stages of grief will differ. On top of that, sympathy and support is needed.
We are never really prepared to lose someone. Maybe things were different back then when death was omnipresent and people were simply used to face it every day. But when we take a closer look a lot more has changed. The smallest known social communities, our families have changed a lot, too. A family can support us, offer us the possibility to retreat, give us some sort of shelter. Further more, a family can offer the environment to let us be the way we are, the feel the way we feel, offering some sort of safety and security, no matter what.
With families breaking up and falling apart, we find ourselves left to our own devices most of the time. With our work becoming a more important part of our lives, it is becoming a challenge to stay safe and sound, physically as well as mentally. At work, only few are accepted they way they are. For the majority the opposite is true, forcing them to create and maintain a masquerade, which consumes a lot of time and a lot of energy.
During a time when most of our energy is already consumed be the grieving we do, too many people want us to focus on their needs, help them to achieve their goals, support them and be there for them. It sounds terribly wrong - welcome to the real world. A world that is becoming a place for the self-involved and greedy, more and more, day by day.
I just had a break and am back from the phone. I called my friend T. and we have been talking for about an hour. We didn't solve any problems but we talked. And while we were talking I could hear in her voice that she started feeling a bit better, a bit lighter. She simply needed some honest, well-deserved attention and reassurance. I am glad I could help her, just a little bit. She lost her mother eight weeks ago and it is obvious that she will need some more time to deal with it. I will be there for her, no matter how long it takes her to come to terms with her loss, and she knows that.
Maybe you know someone who might need your help, your support. It may be because of the death of a beloved relative, it may be because they came out of a relationship. Anyway, it is a loss. They may need you. Be there for them, be different. Show some respect and accept them the way they are.
They are the ones who find themselves left behind.
Monday, August 15, 2011
What Makes Things Tick
Last night, I finished an interesting book. Well, it didn‘t sound that interesting at all, to be honest, when @hansdorsch mentioned it three weeks ago on Twitter. But as I still had to try the Kindle app on my iPhone back then, I decided to give both of them, the book as well as the app a try.
Program Or Be Programmed by Douglas Rushkoff isn‘t all about computer programming, at least not in the literal sense. As its title already suggests, it is more about the choices we made since we started using computers, especially but not necessarily networked ones, and the consequences our behaviours related to those modern media bring on to our life these days.
No one would have expected that I would agree with all of the ideas an thesises Mr Rushkoff postulates throughout of his book. But he makes some good and valid points that made me think and kept me awake quite some time. It wasn‘t exactly like looking into a mirror while reading the lines, but I realized that there really is a growing lack of interest in how things work and why they work the way they do. Furthermore, people jumping to conclusions without even starting to reflect about what they are doing has become so popular that it really scares me.
We are living in a world of tools and support. Because there is always someone who can help us we take their help for granted. And while we find ways to use the advanced tools of the world we are living in, we have so little interest in what makes them tick and what the consequences of using them are. On top of that, while taking so many things and people for granted, and somehow ignoring the changes of the ways we interact with the world around us, we fail to see the impact our lack of understanding really has on us ourselves and the world around us.
I consider myself lucky that I grew up during the decades where many of the foundations of our modern, interconnected world were layed. Seriously, I am grateful that I was raised with a good amount of curiosity and support of my interests, especially those in electronics and computers. And while I think that it is great that everyone focuses on different part of our lives and the world that surrounds us, I sense that it is quite special to have more than just an idea of what helps us to connect these days - and how it works.
On the other hand, I can understand why people prefer their tools to just work. Who needs to know how exactly this hammer and these nails where made when all you want to do is hang up some pictures on the wall. (Wow. There is something like a good way to hold the hammer handle and the nail that would make work easier and reduce the risk of injuring yourself? Weird!) Who needs to know how a cars are built, how the engine, the streering and the brakes work, as long as they do. (Crazy. It isn‘t enough to put petrol in the car‘s tank? And why would you call a car a weapon? This driving license isn‘t a license to kill, is it?)
No, seriously, we simply cannot know how everything that surrounds us and every tool we use works. And that is just fine. But someone should. And it better be someone you can trust. Lies and wrong answers can cause a lot of serious trouble. In the end, you want to solve a problem when you ask for support. You don‘t want to create another problem instantly, do you? - That is why everone is good at something. Yes, I really do believe that. In a way.
What really irritates me is when someone claims to be interested in something, wants to learn about something, but then shows no interest at all when it comes to what really makes the things tick, what goes beyond the very basics of the group of themes. It really irritates me when people are content with easy and short answers when they say that want more than just scratch the surface of a matter. And I am really worried when this someone is an apprentice or a student.
I have been in charge of training apprentices two times so far. (Insert famous Yoda quote here.) One of the reasons I really enjoyed it every time is that I like to share my humble knowledge and experience as well as the challenges that arise from the interaction with young and curious people. Sadly many young people have lost their curiosity already, and the ability to be avid for something is an abortive one. The good thing here is that many doesn‘t mean all.
Nina was the first apprentice. This young woman was quite clever and she was never shy to ask questions. She loved to learn more and she didn‘t like short answers. When it came to walking that extra mile, she was up for it. It didn‘t take her long to work independently along with my colleagues and me, and soon she became a reliable member of or team. Her interest in the matter grew far beyond the official training schedule and it was a challenge as well as a pleasure to teach her. By the end of her training period she was more than qualified to do her job and even more important: she was eager to learn even more, she wanted to know how those things she was asked to work with and take care of worked and learn about the bigger picture.
Philipp was the second apprentice. He was quite clever too, but unlike Nina he was easily satisfied with facile and general answers, by just making things work somehow. As soon as it took him a second or a third go to solve a problem or to find an answer, he tended to give up and blame someone or something for the missing progress. While Nina was aware of the fact the she knew little but wanted to change that, Philipp thought he already knew more than enough and that it would be sufficient to pass the exams. He did pass them and he knew how to use the tools at work. Everything else? Just exhausting or boring.
I have the feeling that many, too many people are like Philipp: they just decide to stop and not make that one step ahead that could open a new world to them. They think they know the world that surrounds them well enough, they are simply not interested in anything more than this. They prefer being told what they have to do, they prefer to have decisions made for them by others, they prefer consuming what they are served. Create stuff and share it with others? Why? What for? Isn‘t there someone (more) qualified to do it on my behalf?
Program or be programmed. Create or consume. Use your brain or just do what you are told. Blue pill or red pill. The decisions are up to each and every one of us. I, for one, prefer to learn about what makes things tick, what things mean and what they will or may lead us to.
How about you?
Program Or Be Programmed by Douglas Rushkoff isn‘t all about computer programming, at least not in the literal sense. As its title already suggests, it is more about the choices we made since we started using computers, especially but not necessarily networked ones, and the consequences our behaviours related to those modern media bring on to our life these days.
No one would have expected that I would agree with all of the ideas an thesises Mr Rushkoff postulates throughout of his book. But he makes some good and valid points that made me think and kept me awake quite some time. It wasn‘t exactly like looking into a mirror while reading the lines, but I realized that there really is a growing lack of interest in how things work and why they work the way they do. Furthermore, people jumping to conclusions without even starting to reflect about what they are doing has become so popular that it really scares me.
We are living in a world of tools and support. Because there is always someone who can help us we take their help for granted. And while we find ways to use the advanced tools of the world we are living in, we have so little interest in what makes them tick and what the consequences of using them are. On top of that, while taking so many things and people for granted, and somehow ignoring the changes of the ways we interact with the world around us, we fail to see the impact our lack of understanding really has on us ourselves and the world around us.
I consider myself lucky that I grew up during the decades where many of the foundations of our modern, interconnected world were layed. Seriously, I am grateful that I was raised with a good amount of curiosity and support of my interests, especially those in electronics and computers. And while I think that it is great that everyone focuses on different part of our lives and the world that surrounds us, I sense that it is quite special to have more than just an idea of what helps us to connect these days - and how it works.
On the other hand, I can understand why people prefer their tools to just work. Who needs to know how exactly this hammer and these nails where made when all you want to do is hang up some pictures on the wall. (Wow. There is something like a good way to hold the hammer handle and the nail that would make work easier and reduce the risk of injuring yourself? Weird!) Who needs to know how a cars are built, how the engine, the streering and the brakes work, as long as they do. (Crazy. It isn‘t enough to put petrol in the car‘s tank? And why would you call a car a weapon? This driving license isn‘t a license to kill, is it?)
No, seriously, we simply cannot know how everything that surrounds us and every tool we use works. And that is just fine. But someone should. And it better be someone you can trust. Lies and wrong answers can cause a lot of serious trouble. In the end, you want to solve a problem when you ask for support. You don‘t want to create another problem instantly, do you? - That is why everone is good at something. Yes, I really do believe that. In a way.
What really irritates me is when someone claims to be interested in something, wants to learn about something, but then shows no interest at all when it comes to what really makes the things tick, what goes beyond the very basics of the group of themes. It really irritates me when people are content with easy and short answers when they say that want more than just scratch the surface of a matter. And I am really worried when this someone is an apprentice or a student.
I have been in charge of training apprentices two times so far. (Insert famous Yoda quote here.) One of the reasons I really enjoyed it every time is that I like to share my humble knowledge and experience as well as the challenges that arise from the interaction with young and curious people. Sadly many young people have lost their curiosity already, and the ability to be avid for something is an abortive one. The good thing here is that many doesn‘t mean all.
Nina was the first apprentice. This young woman was quite clever and she was never shy to ask questions. She loved to learn more and she didn‘t like short answers. When it came to walking that extra mile, she was up for it. It didn‘t take her long to work independently along with my colleagues and me, and soon she became a reliable member of or team. Her interest in the matter grew far beyond the official training schedule and it was a challenge as well as a pleasure to teach her. By the end of her training period she was more than qualified to do her job and even more important: she was eager to learn even more, she wanted to know how those things she was asked to work with and take care of worked and learn about the bigger picture.
Philipp was the second apprentice. He was quite clever too, but unlike Nina he was easily satisfied with facile and general answers, by just making things work somehow. As soon as it took him a second or a third go to solve a problem or to find an answer, he tended to give up and blame someone or something for the missing progress. While Nina was aware of the fact the she knew little but wanted to change that, Philipp thought he already knew more than enough and that it would be sufficient to pass the exams. He did pass them and he knew how to use the tools at work. Everything else? Just exhausting or boring.
I have the feeling that many, too many people are like Philipp: they just decide to stop and not make that one step ahead that could open a new world to them. They think they know the world that surrounds them well enough, they are simply not interested in anything more than this. They prefer being told what they have to do, they prefer to have decisions made for them by others, they prefer consuming what they are served. Create stuff and share it with others? Why? What for? Isn‘t there someone (more) qualified to do it on my behalf?
Program or be programmed. Create or consume. Use your brain or just do what you are told. Blue pill or red pill. The decisions are up to each and every one of us. I, for one, prefer to learn about what makes things tick, what things mean and what they will or may lead us to.
How about you?
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